My health only became my priority when lack of health was no longer a desire.
I first had to see that I was keeping the burden of extra weight and doubt on myself.

My inner dialogue (both conscious and subconscious) and old habits together, were keeping the “old me” intact. And no matter how much I “wanted” to be healthy, self sabotage was waiting around the corner because I had yet to change my mind about myself.

The self back then, I thought no one wanted to be her friend.  I felt super lucky for the friends I did have because to me…. there was so much to fix in me!!  And with that belief alone, the old me hung around like n imposter I couldn’t get rid of.

This is when I began to take an inventory of the “old self” vs the “new self” I wanted to be and develop simple steps to follow that brought me (and now my clients / students) to freedom in body and mind.

⭐ OLD ME:

I would have thoughts like:
“I have to many things to do, I cant do this (care for self in way I needed)”
“Ew I cant wear this it makes my fat bulge”
“Omg this is taking forever to see results, maybe I should just stop”
“Who do I think I am to say that I can do this or that”
“I am not good enough yet… so blah blah blah…!”

And because of these thoughts I would focus all my attention on what I did not like about myself or my life.

I would notice what has not yet changed and completely miss giving attention and gratitude to the soul that I AM and the small successes I AM seeing.

I was embracing self care and mind training one day, and dropping it the next. I would love myself and think I look great, and then doubt myself and feel like everything needs to change.

 

This inconsistent thinking led to inconsistent results and roller-coaster feelings.

👉Any of this sound familiar?

⭐ NEW ME:

One day I was reading my beloved A Course in Miracles and I had an epiphany that there was a split goal in my mind.
I saw that half of me wanted health, half of me wanted to keep the old habits / sabotage.
I also saw that I was doing this to myself and that I can and must change it.
I also explored my payoff in sabotage and doubt and I saw that I was getting to be “right” when I believed my thoughts about being “fat” or “unproductive” or “not good enough”…when my eyes rested on things “not yet being perfect”. And to my ego being right was way more important than being healthy. So I slipped into default, being right about who  I thought I was, and what I thought I was capable of.

 

I decided (over time) that that payoff I’ve been using, gives me NOTHING anymore, only pain and a yo yo experience with health.

 

So I declared inside my self and to God that “I refuse to have a split goal/mindset anymore. I choose to focus on and support ONLY what is true in me”.

.

And I finally
Loved and accepted myself exactly as I am!!!

It was this full on and complete acceptance of how I currently was, that gave permission to my self to allow change and transformation to happen. I was no longer fighting the old me, I was allowing the new/true me to be present. The split fell away and the WHOLE me emerged!!!
.

I then continued on my health journey, without telling myself it’s taking too long or needs to be different….. and my health journey revealed to me a true and deep LOVE FOR SELF that continues to grow and deepen.

 

This path has not been easy, but I remained consistent in choosing love.
I was not perfect at it, but I got better everyday.
Love now leads the way, not fear of failing, or fear of what other people think or fear of the weight  growing or fear of lack of health or negative thoughts. Love now leads the way, and my relationship to self has completely changed becuase I lead my thoughts and actions with love and an “I will be better every day and in every way” attitude.

…………………..

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1️) Accept yourself exactly as you are, and where you are but commit to growth. You are learning to heal and be healthy.
2) You are worthy of small acts of self care /love every day
(from washing face, to squats before a shower, to a home cooked meal,
to reading a book  before bed) (from washing face, to squats before a shower, to a home cooked meal, to reading a book  before bed)
3)You only need to do ONE thing a day to be on your path to health and self love.
4)The one small step a day, adds up to many steps in a week, and those many steps become the foundation for which you can learn and grow more quickly.
5) Small steps, persistence and faith … is what leads to results. Focus on those.
6)Celebrate your small steps and successes everyday. Ie. “You did so good, Self.  I am so proud of you for that meal planning you did while sitting on the can! 🤣”
7) Give away and share your small joys and successes with others. (as you give  you receive!)